Man oh Man do I miss the toddler years! “Well not really!” I do have the steady and daily reminders from my oh-so-know-it-all-I-am-always-right-can’t-do-anything-wrong-you-can’t-tell-me-what-to-do 13 year old! “I am sooo honored!” Or maybe I should say…”Bless his heart!”
OMG!…I Cannot Believe It!
Let me give you a peek of the past 20-30 minutes.
He stormed out of his room this morning with a huff and a quick slam of his door. His huffed some more when he was asked, by my hubby, to take the dog downstairs for me. He groaned about having cold cereal and having to take his morning meds…the same ones he has been taking for the past 6+ years. His talked under his breath about having to sit in the dark. “I’m sorry…the lights were on in the kitchen and there was plenty of light to eat his cereal.” He tried to sneak something into his lunchbox and I quietly put it back into the fridge. He then took the same item again and put it into the lunchbox. Caught again he told me…”You can’t tell me what I can pack for my lunch!” Oh boy was my tongue fighting to stay inside my mouth!!! He then made himself the most pitiful PBJ sandwich I have ever seen ignoring the still unopened container of lunch-meat and cheese he asked me to buy for him. Once finished making the sandwich he took the knife and spoon he used to make the sandwich and rinsed them under the water using his hands to wipe off the leftover Peanut-butter and jelly and dropped them into the dishwasher followed by drying his hands on the side of his pants. He then threw his sandwich into his lunchbox and gathered his stuff for school and announced…”I’m leaving!” He proceeded to storm out the front door wearing a heavy leather jacket. “It’s 64 degrees outside and the high will be 71 degrees later today!”
My heart is still racing from the “You can’t tell me what to do…” statement. Why is it that this young teen cannot see the bigger picture? Why can he not understand the simplest of instructions? There are reasons we do things the way we do in this family and the last time I looked I did not have any proverbial “wool over my eyes”!
We don’t talk back to our parents disrespectfully!
Whining is not an acceptable form of communication!
Ignoring the household/family rules gets you no where!
Helping gets you treats!
Doing your chores without being asked is the best policy!
To earn added responsibility you must be trusted to follow directions!
The directions are simple and meant to keep you safe!
Wanting to play at a friend’s house does not trump Mom/Dad’s planned activity!
There are so many similarities between this young teen and a toddler. Things that occur on a daily basis are the same things I taught the boys not to do when they were little. “Maybe he was not taught, as a toddler, not to wipe his dirty-peanut-butter-and-jelly-covered-fingers-on-his-pants-while-using-a-tone-to-communicate-disrespectfully.” No Lie!…I had to teach him how to wash his hands and brush his teeth when he first arrived at our home! And yet, six years later, he still has to be prompted to wash his hands thoroughly and reminded to brush his teeth and shower!
Don’t start shaking you head wondering why I don’t realize that this is normal for a teenaged boy. Some of this is normal and I do understand this having raised three 20+ year olds already. But even they will tell you these rules are important and that by following these rules you are able to do more activities INDEPENDENTLY! My three older boys have each tried telling our 13 year old how to function and how to keep mom/dad happy. After all…the boys could be left at home, by themselves, and this 13 year old…no way would I leave him home alone!
I need more coffee! Maybe that will cheer me up a bit and help me calm down! (Redundancy Alert! Coffee/Calm down…LOL!)
One more thing…all of the events this morning took place while I was in the kitchen…doing my daily clean, preparing the commuter mug for my hubby, cleaning out the dishwasher (one of his chores) and giving Precious Princess her medicine!
Thank you for letting me vent. You were such a big help!
“May your cup runneth over with joy, love and laughter oh, and really fabulous coffee!”
Our traditional coffee pot died a couple of weeks ago and my hubby decided to try one of the new fangled coffee makers. Of course being the type of shopper I am…I knew where they were on sale!!! We purchased it on sale for $100 less than most retailers and then got a $50 Rebate too. I am always getting coupons for a particular store, which carries the specific coffee k-cups and will be able to save on these purchases until the company comes out with a version of My K-Cup for this machine. [My K-Cup is a refillable cup that allows you to use your own coffee instead of purchasing the disposable pods?] This modern machine allows you to choose the size and strength of your coffee and there is no leftovers. It is easy to use…But…now there are less people in the house to fix coffee! The consensus seems to think that it is difficult to fix one cup…
When we got the new Kuerig Vue700 and, once home, my 22 year old son and myself schooled ourselves on the techniques. My son knew there was more flavors available, like Hot Chocolate and Hot Cider, so he went to find them. The Training Paid Off! (Make sure what the alternatives are and their availability!)
I was on my way to TKD with my youngest when I got a call from my 22 year old. “Hey mom…Have you gone up to Bed, Bath and Beyond to get those coffee pods yet?”
I told him that due to lack of time and travel destinations I was never near one to do that. “Okay, I will go see what they have!”
When I got home after TKD and a quick run by the store, for cheese and a gravy for dinner, he was beaming. “What did you buy?” He paraded the variety as he grinned he biggest toothy grin! He bought 3 Hot Chocolates (2 Milk Chocolate and 1 Dark Chocolate), a SleepyTime Tea for me and a Vanilla Latte’…Hmmm, The Training Paid Off! (If you want something that mom has not bought or provided…buy it yourself!) To bad he did not have my coupons…Now I can go get more…(snicker, snicker)
“He is really a good boy!” However, there is one minor problem! He did not buy any travel sized pods of coffee!
He made hot chocolate for me as soon as I put things down…My son smiled as we watched the thick, rich Dark Chocolate cascade into the waiting cup. It was so good! My son then had to make a Vanilla Latte’ for his daddy. My son performed the task flawlessly and even though my hubby remarked about the simplicity of the preparation I am sure I will never see my hubby make himself a cup. “I wonder if my son bought these just to have an excuse to have hot chocolate whenever he wants one…seeings how he paid for it.”
My son does love his gadgets…Because of him we have a Soda Maker, Shake Maker, Donut Maker, and an Ice Cream Maker(needs no ice or salt). He loves to create flavors and to find short cuts in the preparation of these calorie-filled-sweets. He does not like it when I experiment using less sugar or worse low-fat. However…because of our mutual love of experimenting we tried to make a mocha using the new coffee and hot chocolate pods last night. It Worked!. Not as good as my latte’s but…in a pinch it will do! I will try and remember to let you know what I find when I check out the variety for myself.
“To bad my son sees no incentive to keep his room cleaner!”. HeHe!
I think I need to research How to train a child to clean the house without being told to or paid! Any suggestions? Have a great day!
. Ever have one of those days…NOTHING GOES RIGHT! I have no more words of wisdom and I ran out of straws to break the strongest of camel backs a few months ago. One thing after another! Why did the publishing company stop printing the parenting book called “Tricks of the Trade…How to Successfully Raise a Responsible Teenager!” Perhaps I should write a book and title it…”Sometimes You Just Need To Scream!”
The proverbial carpet has been pulled out from under our feet. Typically parents have the luxury of speaking their mind as the child/teen is forced to listen. The parental words bounce around, like a award winning play on a pinball machine, popping and pinging against the different areas of their brain. BUT…this time the words went flying straight through…in one ear and out the other…not one word was left behind!
I worry about the loss of communication surrounding this series of events. The good news is that the child/teen involved is trying, through humor, to stay connected with the family. “I think the whole concept of borderline adult scares the pants off him!” He is so overwhelmed and cannot make sense of what to do next. His independent spirit, whispering in his ear, resembles the devil complete with pitchfork. He is telling him one thing which is the complete opposite of what we have suggested. “Why is it kids just don’t realize how parents really do know something about making it in the world?” “Did I say that out loud?” I have long been aware of the vicious relationship circle between parents and kids…but now I sound like a parent from a bad 50’s movie.
Now when my husband calls, on his way home from work, and wants to know about my day with the boys…I respond…”I do not want to talk about ______!” I do not need to frustrate either of us. Avoidance is essential to sanity right now. But just below the surface it is waiting….”Sometimes You Just Need To Scream!”
However…other issues have come not play. Stress is causing problems with our health. The underlying pain, ranging from sore muscles to migraines, and stomach aches have begun to plagues us daily. On the flip side…at least my husband and I know the reason for the bickering and have put blame where it belongs.
I apologize for the vagueness but just needed to vent. It really helps! I can see all of you agreeing with everything I say as all of your heads nod up and down. Your sympathetic understanding of my position helps me feel like I am not alone…but if you know what I am going through…I am sorry and can identify with you! Do you want to share a scream? 1-2-3 SCREEAAMM! “Sometimes You Just Need To Scream!”
Well I feel better…so now it is time to get ready for the next thing on my agenda…room decoration!
I am teaching the 4th Grade Class in VBS (Vacation Bible School) next week and this is decoration week. Time to put on my creative hat and see what I can do…I hope the hat still fits!
Thank you for your help today! Have a great day!