Peach State says: A Heartfelt Explanation!

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Yesterday was a BAD day on many fronts. As the media began to report on the situation in Connecticut I, as a mother, began to shake on the inside. I will not go into detail but I will give you “A Heartfelt Explanation”!

My day began is emotional tailspin as these events dominated the TV. I was unfortunately informed that a situation in my own family had caused my hubby to…how should I say this…Blow A Fuse! My hubby is one of those men who speak first and think later. I, as a female, see a broader picture and the incident only hurt me worse. This is when my anxiety attack started. My swollen eyes soaked with unstoppable tears found no relief until about nine last night. My hubby realized what he said and immediately took action…of course my 22 year old took action too and tried to solve the problem on his own. His oversized heart held things together as mine was breaking and he was mending things in the family and causing parties involved to talk on the phone. “This mending was occurring while my hubby drove home.”
My silly female mind was so overwhelmed with a course of action to be implemented and my hurt, tired, tear-filled, concerned, emotion-tossed heart was causing my body to shake uncontrollably. I reached out to a dear friend and through tears and choked garble she knew to pray. “Such a sweet spirit came across from the other side of the phone. Even though I had not been able to tell her exactly what was going on she prayed for a calming to the situation.”

Long story short…
By the time my hubby got home he had dealt with the primary party and the infraction that cause the major grief. My tears had begun to cease as the remnants of heart-wrenching tears appeared as shadowed shutters and gulps. This morning, as my stomach churns from left-over anxiety, I am still shaking on the inside. After 26 years together you would think my hubby and I would understand the heart And mind of each other. Sadly…there are certain words and phrases that still hurt!

My weakened emotional state is now calming and healing as I prepare to deal with the tragedy in Connecticut. I purposely kept the coverage from playing when my youngest got home from school. I will attempt to sort out his thoughts and feelings this morning. As I watched the coverage this morning with my hubby over coffee my heart ached. Tears welled up in weak-red-tear-stained eyes…

What an outpouring of love and prayers! I know these innocent children killed yesterday are in no pain now. They are warm and happy as they are wrapped in Jesus’ precious arms. Their parents are the ones I mourn for. To experience such loss… My emotional-tear-drenched-heart goes out to each of them. There will be days a memory will bring their child back into their mind. The happy faces and childish laughter will tug at heart-strings exhausted by tears.

Please keep these families and this community in your thoughts and prayers. Hold your family close and love them. Please…Have a great day!

Peach State

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About justbetweencousins

We are first cousins who live farther apart from each other than we would like. We thought this blog would give us a chance to visit with each other as well as maybe share a few insights about life. We are both middle aged and until recently both of us had kids the same age (nearly grown). But then the Peach State cuz adopted a son, so she has four now. Heart of Dixie cuz has two daughters. We have a couple of things which are prominently in common (although I'm sure there are actually more): We vacation at our Mema's beach house in Panama City Beach, Florida - until recently, we did so with all of our kids. We both sing - although Heart of Dixie cuz is not currently singing anywhere right now. We both write. We are both Christians, although Peach State cuz is Baptist, and Heart of Dixie is currently floating about between the Anglican church, the Methodist church, and the Episcopalian church. Long story.

Posted on December 15, 2012, in Children, family, friends, Home, Just Between Cousins, musings and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I’m so sorry you had such a rough day yesterday… 😦 Glad to hear that your heart is on the mend from that…praying for complete emotional healing for you and your family.

    Men and women thoughout the nation are still mourning the vicious murder of the children and administration of SHES yesterday. I cried off and on all day over it, and cried hardest when I climbed into bed last night. Even this morning, looking for an update, the tears came. Is it a selfish thought to be glad that I don’t have cable TV in my house at a time such as this? I can only take hearing about it a little bit at a time. As it is, it dominates my thoughts throughout the day and night. Every thing I do, I think of what the families of the victims are doing. I think about the Christmas gifts already purchased for these children…gifts that won’t make it under the tree. We put our prelit tree up last night, and after placing only a few decorative balls on it, I couldn’t do anymore. Yes, I was physically exhausted, but I think I was emotionally exhausted as well.

    Woke up early this morning with a migraine and sinus pressure. Took medicine, and returned to bed. Woke up later with migraine about gone, but sinus pressure causing more pain. It has gotten much better since being up and drinking my wimpy half-caff…just enough caffeine to help, but not enough to cause my heart to freak out! So, I will go on with my day…cooking, cleaning, laundry…and Mom called needing me to take her to a couple of places. Somewhere in all of that, I will finish my (later than usual) task of Christmas decorating. I have a lot of gifts to go under the tree, most of which are for my smaller grandchildren. (The older grandchild and one niece have already confiscated their Christmas gifts, so I may put a bag of switches under the tree for them!) But, as I wrap these toys for my 4 almost 5 year old and my 2 and a half year old grandchildren, I will be ever more grateful to have them here with us, and ever so mindful of those who have lost their precious little ones…

    • That same picture had flashed in my head. All the little reminders hanging on the tree and fine art on the fridge will be constant memories the parents and families will deal with. My prayers are most definitely with them.

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