Heart of Dixie says . . . Never again
I said I would never diet again. Not after the weight fell off with no effort. No starving. No over-doing anything. All I did was leave crazy house, and the weight fell off. Look at Funny Girl: she left crazy house (to go to school) and instead of finding the freshman 15, she lost it. No, I said I would never diet again.
Then comes the weight. Where did it come from? I have analyzed and analyzed. I’ve read and researched ways to go about doing this again. But my heart isn’t in it. Deep down, I don’t believe it is a math problem like I did before (which of course it is: calories in – calories out = weight). But in my heart, I believe it is bigger than that.
I think about half the weight came from changing jobs. Seems like teaching uses more calories than you would think. But where it came from doesn’t matter.
I need a heart overhaul, and right now I believe more than anything that God is getting my attention through my body. Long time ago, I did the Weigh Down Workshop. It was beautiful. I felt that I was on the brink of something much bigger than weight loss, but then my husband came home from sea, and I needed to dwell on the earth rather than in the heavens. I’m not sure why that derailed the adventure – no, that’s not true, I do know. He had a tendency to think I was a religious kook every time I said anything too spiritual.
Anyway, I was nearly in HIS hands. The body was there, but the heart had almost followed. That’s what I want.
I bought a couple of related prayer books and watched some old videos. I want to trust God with this. I am afraid of hunger, but I want to trust HIM with that pain just as I trusted the chiropractor with my neck. Relax, he says right before I know he is going to cause me some fear and pain. But then I feel better. Am I willing to trust God as much as I trust a man? I hope so.
Posted on January 2, 2012, in About me, Christianity, Diet, faith, God, Just Between Cousins, musings, my life, spirituality, Uncategorized and tagged trust, weigh down. God, weight loss. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.