Heart of Dixie says . . . Never again

I said I would never diet again.  Not after the weight fell off with no effort.  No starving.  No over-doing anything.  All I did was leave crazy house, and the weight fell off.  Look at Funny Girl: she left crazy house (to go to school) and instead of finding the freshman 15, she lost it.  No, I said I would never diet again.

Then comes the weight.  Where did it come from?  I have analyzed and analyzed.  I’ve read and researched ways to go about doing this again.  But my heart isn’t in it.  Deep down, I don’t believe it is a math problem like I did before (which of course it is: calories in – calories out = weight).  But in my heart, I believe it is bigger than that.

I think about half the weight came from changing jobs.  Seems like teaching uses more calories than you would think.  But where it came from doesn’t matter.

I need a heart overhaul, and right now I believe more than anything that God is getting my attention through my body.  Long time ago, I did the Weigh Down Workshop.  It was beautiful.  I felt that I was on the brink of something much bigger than weight loss, but then my husband came home from sea, and I needed to dwell on the earth rather than in the heavens.  I’m not sure why that derailed the adventure – no, that’s not true, I do know.  He had a tendency to think I was a religious kook every time I said anything too spiritual.

Anyway, I was nearly in HIS hands.  The body was there, but the heart had almost followed.  That’s what I want.

I bought a couple of related prayer books and watched some old videos.  I want to trust God with this.  I am afraid of hunger, but I want to trust HIM with that pain just as I trusted the chiropractor with my neck.  Relax, he says right before I know he is going to cause me some fear and pain.  But then I feel better.  Am I willing to trust God as much as I trust a man?  I hope so.