Peach State says: I’ll Pat Your Back if You’ll Pat Mine
Posted by justbetweencousins
Hey Cuz; Ever have one of those conflicts that arise over the spending of money or lack of money? We seem to have the issue resurface every time we sit down. Last nights was finally the time for me to say “Whoa! You really have no idea what I am doing to try and save money. All the clothes my husband had to buy for work at the “Big Chain” store where one shirt, on sale, is more than I spent on the three pairs of pants and one sweater.” Breath! ” I have not shopped at Kohl’s since last Christmas. I have forced myself to avoid my favorite stores so that I would not spend money we really don’t have.” He suggested that I don’t care about anything but lots of presents under the tree and then he said “We should go back to the old ways and make our gifts.” I smiled and said “That would be good if you would actually take the time to make the gifts.” I have asked him for years to stain a shelf, I had bought, for my office. What happened is the shelf got put in the garage for the task to be completed until the day he needed a shelf and took it and put it up in his office. I saw it and asked him why he had my shelf. “Oh, the boys and I did not know it was yours.” I reminded him and he said “I will get you one later”. That was 4 years ago.
I have to laugh at some of this because, as I am writing this, I am finding it a bit healing.
Why is it we tend to point out the negatives instead of the positives? I know my husband has worked very creatively to get us through these hard times but he needs to put his glasses on and look around him to see what other things have been done, without his help.
I apologize for this rant my dear cuz, and I know you understand the need for a “Pat on the Back”. Those respectful words and feelings of admiration to hold us up in the worst of times. It is not about parades or loud speakers but the slight recognition and admiration from those we love and respect. I have received them from my husband before, but I guess he has forgotten what he said. It is a choice we make each day when we decide how to approach a situation. Trying to find the good and not just looking for the bad. Maybe that is why my husband and I work. We are complete opposites! HEHE! “Had to laugh at that statement. Someone may think I just figured that out.” I have know for many years how opposite we really are. But I have also seen the common ground, we walk on, expand as we have continued on this bumpy trail of marriage.
So “Pat my Back” in a comment and let me hear your rant…..Then I will return the favor and “Pat your Back”!
About justbetweencousinsWe are first cousins who live farther apart from each other than we would like. We thought this blog would give us a chance to visit with each other as well as maybe share a few insights about life. We are both middle aged and until recently both of us had kids the same age (nearly grown). But then the Peach State cuz adopted a son, so she has four now. Heart of Dixie cuz has two daughters. We have a couple of things which are prominently in common (although I'm sure there are actually more): We vacation at our Mema's beach house in Panama City Beach, Florida - until recently, we did so with all of our kids. We both sing - although Heart of Dixie cuz is not currently singing anywhere right now. We both write. We are both Christians, although Peach State cuz is Baptist, and Heart of Dixie is currently floating about between the Anglican church, the Methodist church, and the Episcopalian church. Long story.
Posted on December 2, 2011, in Just Between Cousins and tagged choices in marriage, Kohl's, making gifts instead of buying, Pat my Back, Pat your Back, spending money at Christmas. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.